Journal Entry

I will never be as confident as I wish to be.. There are many nights and many days when all I want is to be held. I love being held. And most of the time, I don't want to talk about what's bothering me.. Sometimes, I just want a hug and someone who will let me cry on their shoulder.. I know that I wear my heart on my sleeve, and most of the time, I really am naive. I know what it feels like to be completely broken and I am all too familiar with what it means to really be hurt. I know what it's like to see something funny and not laugh. I've been taken advantage of, used, and abused. My feelings have been blatantly disregarded. But I still believe that all people are good at heart, and most of the time, this belief has stabbed me in the back.. I trust people who might not deserve it and who might throw it around like it's confetti.. But my trust in people will never diminish. Try as I might to never trust anyone, I fail. Completely. I always put my trust in someone way too easily.. Why? I don't know. But I always end up hurt.. as if I've fallen on my knees, and I can't get back up.. Idunno.. Perhaps I'm only wearing my heart on my sleeve to see who will actually pull me to my feet.. But what do I really know?